A hymen-bustin’ good time…
Not since Lost has a show had me counting down the days until the next episode like True Blood. The perfect blend of drama, comedy, supernatural, sex and OMFG moments has placed this campy gem securely in the hearts of women and gay men everywhere. Just like the majority of episodes before it, the August 9th episode, Timebomb, delivered on every account.
Timebomb will probably go down as an overall fan favorite because of the fact that karma came to kick a bunch of terminal annoyances in the ass as well as giving us enough WTF moments to make next Sunday seem as far away as ever. If the first image recap above doesn’t point it out as obvious as necessary, there was a plethora of ownage across the board.
After being introduced to Godric (Eric’s maker) last week, we start right back up as he is helping Sookie get out of the imprisonment that was brought upon her by Steve Newlin’s fiery wrath. Godric snaps Newlin’s henchman’s neck like a twig and Eric shows up just in time to queen out over finally seeing Godric, who instructs Eric to get Sookie the hell out of there.
After surviving a convenient paintball attack by tranny-haired Sarah Newlin, Jason finally puts the crazy out to pasture and goes on a one-man mission to take down the Fellowship of the Sun.
Back in Bon Temps, Maryann brings the punctured and heartless carcass of Daphne to Merlotte’s just in time for Sam and the police to show up. Sam’s doin’ hard time with the other whores of Bon Temps.
At the sexy vampire hotel, where Lorena is holding Bill hostage, Lorena decides to take a bite out of Barry the Bellboy. As she is puzzled by his strange taste and takes a moment to ask what he is (at least he is FINALLY interesting), Bill gives that crazy bitch the old plasma-TV-to-the-head trick. He races to Jessica’s room just in time to ruin her first foray into a passionate lovefest with Hoyt. Later, back in Bon Temps, as Jessica and Hoyt are trying for round two, Jessica realizes that something is wrong. Apparently, being made vampire before busting your hymen leaves you with an eternity of uncomfortable first times. Team Jessica and Hoyt.
Let’s take a moment to talk about Maryann, shall we? There isn’t a better way to sum up how I feel about her than saying I love this bitch. Michelle Forbes has consistently played the most badass and most memorable characters in all of my favorite TV shows (24, Battlestar Galactica, In Treatment, etc). She has created a character that is so devilish and free spirited that you can’t help but love the crazy that pulsates out of her sweet Grecian body. Not only was she on her A game as usual, but this time she decided to up the antee and use Daphne’s removed heart to create a nauseatingly perfect Hunter’s Souflee that Tara and Eggs just couldn’t get enough of. I have the feeling the the end of Maryann is going to be inevitable, but I can’t help but believing that she will bring nothing by good things if she stays around. How good is a show when you root for the bad guy?
Jason finally saves the day and gets his hollow head out of his ass as he takes a paintball to Reverend Steve. Godric joins in the festivites and stops a holy bloodbath and proceeds to turn all of the Reverend’s good followers against him - save for a seemingly hesitant Luke.
It is back at Godric’s mansion that the true edge-of-your-seat, HOLY HELL moment came. Lorena continues her streak of getting owned - first verbally by Sookie, then physically and emotionally by Godric. GTFO, LORENA. As Bill is walking her out of the house, a mysterious set of shoes is walking in - Luke with a special message from Steve Newlin…
Sweet Jesus, this is the shit I live for. Armed with wooden & silver bullets as well as plenty of silver chain, Luke pushed the engage switch on what seems to be a suicide bombing attempt. Unfortunately, as they tend to do, the writers are making us dwell on the horrible possibilities of Eric, Godric, et al being blown out of immortality. Check out some creepy viral marketing that HBO has posted - Luke’s blog: http://www.fellowshipofthesun.org/sos/index.html
Are they dead? What is Barry the Bellboy? Is Tara going to crack Maryann’s secret? Is Eric going to have his way with Godric? Is Sookie going to start mattering again? Is Hoyt going to do everything he can to pretend like he isn’t the luckiest person on the face of the planet?
We’ll see next week. Until then, I’m going to continue trying to come down off my WTF high.
