Three to One

What is air? What is breathing?

Thu, 17 May 2012 14:16:54 -0400

What is air? What is breathing?

My reaction to the “finale” of Drag Race.

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:10:37 -0400

My reaction to the “finale” of Drag Race.

Haters to the floor.

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 18:59:39 -0400

Haters to the floor.

I am MERIDA and ay’ll be shootin’ fer my OWN HAND.

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 18:34:44 -0400

I am MERIDA and ay’ll be shootin’ fer my OWN HAND.

textsfromhillary: sharapwna: Every now and then, Hillary likes to cause a national security...

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 23:07:09 -0400

textsfromhillary:

sharapwna:

Every now and then, Hillary likes to cause a national security breach for fun.

hundgen: Goofy Goes to Disneyland in The Art of Vacationing

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 14:23:52 -0400

hundgen:

Goofy Goes to Disneyland in The Art of Vacationing

What’s better than an Infographic? An Infographic made by...

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 13:48:02 -0400

What’s better than an Infographic? An Infographic made by Muppets.

All hail the Year of Penny

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 15:41:49 -0400

All hail the Year of Penny

Regrouping #brb #catbomb #RnR (Taken with instagram)

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 22:39:11 -0400

Regrouping #brb #catbomb #RnR (Taken with instagram)

Royal Wedding Sweetums

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 17:46:04 -0400

Royal Wedding Sweetums

Photo

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:47:58 -0400

If Sharon Needles was the last ladyboy on earth — would...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:52:29 -0400

If Sharon Needles was the last ladyboy on earth — would you kiki with her?

So this exists.

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:04:04 -0400

So this exists.

The mirror isn't for that, Nicole.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:31:36 -0500

thehautemess:

We feel more sorry for the makeup artist whose career completely ended last night…

Nicole Kidman, after spending some time with a group of blind people, was dropped for the New York premiere of her new film, Nine. Unfortunately for Nicole, no one seemed to notice that she looked as if she just came from spending some quality time with Lindsay Lohan. Fortunately for us, though, we are reminded once again why we decided to begin The Haute Mess.

[Source]

The Girl from Speed and the Drinking Movie are Nominated?

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:31:22 -0500

thehautemess:

It’s like they’re advertising that this award show is a big jokey mess…

As long as we’ve been around to see them, the Golden Globes have always been positioned as the ‘fun’ version of the Oscars - which is just a euphemism for the ‘joke red-headed stepchild version of the legitimate awards show’.

Well this year, they’ve stayed true to form by nominating Sandra Bullock for her riveting performance from 2009’s, The Proposal playing the hardass executive who is, of course, Canadian - a definite candidate for immediate deportation. In order for her character to stay in the country, she has to pretend to marry Ryan Reynolds and visit his family in the far off world of Alaska. Along her journey, she fights off dog-snatching eagles and inches her way into Grandma’s heart by breaking into an impromptu performance of Lil’ Jon’s ‘Get Low’. There were really NO OTHER Musical/Comedy performances that were better than this?

The next eye-roll of a nomination came for Todd Phillips’s The Hangover, which managed to snag a nomination for Best Picture Musical/Comedy. Just to recap, this film:

…is nominated for a major industry award for the past year. No further explanation should be needed.

Now this isn’t to say that we won’t be watching the awards live and on the edge of our seats for our favorites to take away the awards they deserve…but we also can’t ignore the fact that the Hollywood Foreign Press might as well just give up sooner rather than later.

Rachel Maddow with a Total K.O. for the Gays

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:26:00 -0500

In case what you were wondering what it looks like when a “former gay” is handed his ass on a platter by a power lesbian…

Yesterday, Political Talk Show host and all around badass, Rachel Maddow, welcomed Richard Cohen, author of the books “Coming Out Straight” and “Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Family Healing”. Cohen, a self proclaimed former gay who suffered from “same-sex attachment disorder”, claims that his missteps into homosexuality came from an incident in which he was molested by a family friend at the age of six and subsequently, craved affection from his father that was then manifested in same sex relationships up until around the age of 30.

After seeking treatment from a Freudian Psychologist and eventually enveloping himself in an evangelical Christian church, he met his current wife. During the first three years of his marriage, he maintained relations with men on the side until he finally sought total healing from his homosexuality.

I’m fully aware that there are several levels of comfort when dealing with homosexuality either within oneself or with someone in their life, but it’s Cohen’s reasoning and proposed causes for homosexuality that don’t sit well with me. On top of that, the idea that something that is inevitably true about someone’s being should be cured isn’t something I can discuss without an eye-roll. I know I live in Los Angeles in the middle of very forward-thinking, and although it stuns me everytime, I also know there are places in my world that embody archaic thinking that fuel and are fueled by varying levels of absurd hatred.

Since then, he has developed several famous and wildly questionable techniques for curing homosexuality under the umbrella of his own foundation, the International Healing Foundation. These techniques, which can be be seen here in this setup clip from an earlier episode of Rachel Maddow’s show, show Cohen cuddling with men to heal them as well as introducing his bludgeoning (meant to represent suppressed feelings) of innocent bedding by tennis racket.

The reason that Richard Cohen has been running rampant in the news recently runs in conjunction with the introduction of Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Bill, better known as the “Kill the Gays Bill” that would criminally punish homosexual behavior as far as execution. One of the biggest proponents of this bill, Ugandan Stephen Langa, cites Richard Cohen’s teachings and writings as fuel for the fire behind the passing of the bill.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Now I’m not one to tell people how to act and think, but I am also not interested in entertaining any time with someone with such ludicrous beliefs that are in direct contradiction to their own actions. The fact that Richard Cohen, who I might add has been expelled from the American Counseling Association due to the questionable nature of his teachings, doesn’t seem to have any definitive objection or remorse to his books being used to promote such blatant hatred completely baffles me. Maddow, although obviously equally baffled, composes herself much better than I would have and presents the most amazing counterpoints to all of his statements that I can’t even do justice in my already-too-long reporting. Maddow: 1, Cohen: -infinity.

Come on baby, let’s put a ring on it… While out...

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:18:12 -0500

Come on baby, let’s put a ring on it…

While out this weekend, I happened to hear this ridiculously fun mashup of Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)’ and Chubby Checkers’s classic ‘The Twist’. After two and a half minutes of mindlessly tearing it up on the dance floor, I was prepared to go into full search mode - luckily, I quickly found it online. Have a listen, enjoy the fun.

That's Enough, Ke$ha

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:25:34 -0500

I’m an alcoholic whore, isn’t that hilarious, artistic, and worthy of plaguing the masses?

I saw the rapid climb of Ke$ha’s single and her obvious inability to spell anything correctly as ‘Tik Tok’ began taking over the iTunes charts. I continued to ignore its existence as I thought it was something that could only be the result of the purest of evils. It wasn’t until I actually heard the song that I knew my suspicions were warranted.

I, more than most, understand why this song is popular: It has a hook, it’s got a good beat and it can be fun to dance to - and God knows that the majority of Orange County and the Jersey Shore have adopted it as an autobiographical anthem and justification for their black roots not-so-subtly disguised under platinum highlight clumps. The lyrics, and Ke$ha as a sorry excuse for a human, is what has me reeling about Tik Tok. Actually, it was even just the Long Duck Dong sounding “Everybody gettin’ crunk [crunk]” line that set me over the edge.

First, I read the lyrics, as listening to them in the actual song made my brain hurt and my dog scream.

Next, I came across an interview with said offender. I probably could have led this rant with this video and it definitely would have encompassed everything I have highlighted so far, albeit in a much less enjoyably verbose and eloquent manner.

It is with this that I say, that’s enough, Ke$ha.

Sounds wonderfully familiar… Lily Allen lovingly and...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:26:00 -0500

Sounds wonderfully familiar…

Lily Allen lovingly and knowingly ripped off the above song (Take That - Shine) in her latest single, “Who’d Have Known”. The Take That version is pretty epic and just to make everything exponentially more epic, both Take That and Lily mashed up their two songs at the Children In Need Benefit Concert last week. Check out Take That’s song above and the video of the mashup below (Starts around the 5:30) mark.

Cheryl Cole - Parachute The woman with the #1 Album and Single...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:05:00 -0500

Cheryl Cole - Parachute

The woman with the #1 Album and Single in the UK has them for a reason

As everyone who follows my blog religiously (no one as I have neglected it and my mom is out of town) knows, Cheryl Cole is 1/5 of Girls Aloud, the best pop group on the planet today (not arguable). Well Cheryl decided to go off and do a solo project and much to my surprise, it is a bonafide hit factory.

This jam, “Parachute”, is the biggest hit on the album - so big that if it isn’t a single, her management team should be fired and burned at the stake (the order of which I’m not concerned with). Have a listen, pass it on, and just remember that I told you about it before it exploded (mind you, this will probably never be released in the US, so at least you can be in on a VERY good secret). Enjoy.